Singapore city, Singapore... so small they named it once
Mood:  not sure
Topic: Post travels
Finally I was home, after spending all seven years of my adulthood wandering around wondering what?s going on. Or so they thought. Six months on from the end of my round the world trip I found myself desperate to leave the city. It was as though the same feeling of captivity that poisoned my mind in September 1997 had once again resurfaced in attempt to expel me from my native land. I have always been undecided, and probably will continue to be so, about whether it was better to be Type A citizen who adores homeland and would do anything to stay put, or Type B citizen who adores homeland but would do anything to leave.

During this short period of stay I was resolute to learn more about my country and our people. The first thing I discovered is size does matter. The country is too small ? there is not enough room and nature to allow for breathing space. The girls are two small ? most Singaporean girls eat twice of what I take in, exercise one-tenth of what I do and weight about half of what I am. In other words, I am a giant dwelling in a tiny cage.

Motherland to me is like parents we love. No matter how wonderful people they are, once we had found our own directions in life living with parents simply becomes an impossible scenario only marginally acceptable when in transition mode.

?Por que vas cuando te quiero?
Mood:  sad
Topic: Travel Madness
I didn?t think I was going to cry, but the instant he disappeared from my sight, tears rolled down involuntarily. The only way to cope with this sudden disruption was to blank out all events that happened ? try not to think about it. Yet it seemed brutally unfair not being able to not ponder over and savour this wonderful feeling.

Monday was an average day at work. I felt blue but it had nothing to do with the day of the week. I watched my colleagues get on with their day and tried to imagine what it would be like to be the type of person who practically never left home, whom much prefer to love and marry someone from the same town. A peaceful and tranquil life it must be, rarely having to deal with the sweet sorrow of parting, never needing to be tormented by the fear of instability in a long distance relationship and the complications of a partner who did not share a common language with mum.

Alas that is not my life. I am lucky to have experienced so much, and at the end of the day to fall in love magnificently with a person so unexpectedly compatible. But right now, the agony of being separated from him is simply too hard to bear

The beginning of insanity
Mood:  not sure
Topic: Travel Madness
This 14th Feb is the beginning of travel madness. Starting with Australia (Sydney-Melbourne-Tasmania) I'll be heading to Vietnam, India, Malaysia and China. By the time it is May I'll have forgotten how Singapore looked like... It's not nice.

Time will heal all wounds
Mood:  quizzical
Time will also erode emotions. I have been waiting for so long- too long? There are those who had waited longer and those lucky bastards who never had to wait. Sometimes I feel that I no longer have paitence and should just jump onto the next flight there- other times I feel so uncertain this entire episode seem like a bad idea. Most days I just don't know. I am no longer strong- I feel the determination drain away from me as the day of our reunion draws closer and closer. Suddenly it all appears rather daunting and extremely frightening.

Is this love, or merely an overstated infactuation? I need to know- I must know! No longer do I have the capacity to tolerate the suspense.

One way, or another, I'm going to get 'ya
Mood:  spacey
Topic: Post travels
Last Saturday night I spent approximately 7 hours in bed mentally calculating product costs and retail prices in my half-asleep mode.

(Which one is the optimist? The 'half-asleep' or the 'half-awake'?)

I am going nuts. Never in my life had I felt so infused into my work. It is simply driving me insane.

Taipei, Taipei
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: Post travels
The last time I was here I was 10 years old. 16 years had since flew by, and boy what a difference.

To be fair, Singapore was not exactly what I considered glamourous 16 years ago. Today, Taipei is a cosmopolitan city with all kinds of gorgeous restaurants, bars, shopping malls. The night markets are lined with trendy stuff and rock bottom prices. The services are fantastic and people are friendly and polite. If Shanghai and Beijing has anything to learn from a Chinese-styled city, this is the place. I am truly impressed.

Of course, it must be taken into consideration the amount I had actually seen of Taipei. Since touching down, I had only managed the airport, the interiors of two cars, the hotel, the work studio of my to-be business partner, a couple of malls, the interiors of many pretty restaurants and finally a small night market last night.

Nevertheless, it is still just a city. Not too interesting for a visitor except that I met up with two very good friends from my distant life in London. That part was nice.

Learning about Singapore
Mood:  not sure
Topic: Post travels
My travels had ended 3 weeks by now, though in reality it felt like a long time had gone by since I was still living on a suitcase. Life had been turbulent these days but in general it appears to progress to a rather exciting mode. Next year I will once again embark on a travelling frenzy, though more related to work, I will get to go somewhere at least once a month.

Jan - Taiwan
Feb - Australia
March - Vietnam
April - Malaysia
May - Australia once more

It is very exciting, though I am also really tired these days, not much time to think about personal things. Hey, with a bombastic career coming up in the horizon, I really cannot complain.

Singapore had surprised me a little and disappointed me in some other ways. I find the people here very friendly, welcoming, social grace and style had indeed progressed substaintially since 7 years ago I was here. What I find difficult to grapple with though is the lack of motivation in most young folks I've encountered. Unlike the international elites I've met over the years, many youngesters here seems to be generally contended with a sedated and comfortable life. Perhaps I had simply not met the right crowd yet.

Post Travels Depression
Mood:  spacey
Topic: Post travels
I am suffering from what I call "Post Travels Depression". This is probably a new medical discipline that needs to be investigated by modern psychiatry. If anyone out there is doing a research I think I will make a very good subject. For starters, the symptoms should include the following:

1.Lack of interest in life
2.Delayed reaction in decision making
3.General sloth
4.Inability to communicate with peers and immediate family members
5.Inexplicable seizures of melancholy
6.Lack of patience in other people's "stupid holidays" (Thanks Lene for this)
7.An uncontrollable urge to book the next flight out of the country. (A bus or train can be a good substitute)
8.Extreme boredom
9.Feelings of imprisonment
10.An uncontainable desire to scream my fucking lungs out!

Anyone knows a good psychiatrist that specialises in this field? I need help.

Last day of freedom, first day of prison
Mood:  not sure
Topic: Post travels
Today is my first day at this new job. Everything was fab. Everyone was nice to me, I got a rather nice desk, they are going to get me a fantastic laptop. Most importantly the job that I was promised looked promising and exciting indeed. But I am miserable!!! This cubicle feels like a prison after 9 1/2 months treading around the globe...

Hindi lessons
Mood:  lyrical
Topic: India
Further to 'Incredible India, Terrible India', here is a brief Hindi lesson compliments of Oliver

Ni (ryhmes with sky) means NO.

Jow (ryhmes with cow) means GO AWAY.

Dufaho (sounds as spelt) means F**K OFF or a near approximation to.

Last day of freedom
Mood:  not sure
Topic: Post travels
Here I am, one day before new job starts - 9 1/2 months past my previous position. After a 2-day effort of spring-cleaning, I feel like so much is being cleared away. First, there are a lot of remnants of my life pre-London, which felt like a completely different era. Then there are bits and bots of communication materials between London and Singapore, and fragments of my home there that now has ceased to exist. Finally, there are the travelling materials, from background reading to souvenirs and diaries. Above everything, there are the memories...

Ben warned me that life after travels may get considerably boring. I was busy with my unpacking and tidying that I didn't really have the chance to prepare myself for the anti-climax of the end of travels. There are occasions when I am quite glad to have a stable life again - the regular visits to the pool, signing up for wushu courses, that gorgeous digital piano that I am eyeing at the Yamaha music shop, along with Jazz lessons. But sometimes I feel spasms of depression when I realised that I am no longer part of that exclusive and really cool group of people in this world who lives life by the day and experience great new things every moment. I miss the most the time I spent in South America, which I regarded as the best part of my year.

Well, not much point being nostalgic, is there? The progression of one step to the next is natural at turbulent points of one's life, and changes inevitably brings about mixed feelings. I should be thankful that there are changes - surely that is better than stale and stagnant waters. Anyhow, I shall start dreaming and saving for my next big trip.

Exasperation is swelling up like a big fat balloon in my chest that is about to erupt into a massive bout of verbal release taking the form of a mother-of-all scream.

Returning home
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Post travels
Late evening of 27th September 1997 I boarded a British Airway flight to London. 7 years later I am home again. While the incredible transportation and communication technology had allowed me short-term trips home, as well as plenty of news about Singapore in my time away, nothing is quite like living in one's own country once again.

So often my foreign friends asked me questions about Singapore where I had no definite answers. I have been away too long to be familiar with my own country, especially one that changes so drastically from one generation to the next. In particular I had missed the maturity of my peers in Singapore, the subtle changes in social grace, behaviour in society and value in life. I am looking forward to learn about Singapore once more.

The end of travels
Mood:  happy
Topic: Post travels
At the beginning of this year I left my job and life in London going on a journey to seek happiness and find direction in life. Approximately 6 weeks later I painfully admitted to myself that neither goals seems likely and I should just take the rest of the trip as one big long holiday.

Here I am, 9 months later, the final flight sector completed bringing me to Singapore Changi Airport and my next job in a few days time. If there are two conclusions I can draw from my adventures in these months, I'd say that happiness is a state of mind its derivation dependant entirely on one's hands, and that we can never be entirely sure about what we want from life since any guess is as good as any hence we might as well enjoy the present.

In a way, the acquisition of this two knowledge had indeed made me happier and clearer in mind what I want to do next. In addition, I am also stronger, both physically and spiritually, made many friends around the world and very much looking forward to my next office job.

Incredible India, Terrible India
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: India
On good days India is terribly incredible. On bad days, India is incredibly terrible. In any case, there is simply no simple way any traveller can describe the multi-dimensional experience of walking on a typical street of India. Imagine stepping into a street of intense heat and humidity where the four-wheeled and four-legged entities all attempts to crush your toes instantly. Next thing you know you are greeted by a sweet scent of incense followed very quickly by the foul stench of ammonia. Three thousand car horns then go into a symphony and every other Indian man will begin an interrogation session with you while following you along the dirty grimy road. One Englishman we met summed it up in one sentence. "I learnt three words in Hindi, namely `No,' `Go away,' and `Fuck off,' and I find that they are all I need."

Now don't get me wrong. The spectacular historical monuments and intricate pattern designs in India are every architect's dream. The people who are not in the tourism trade are mostly kind and gentle and physical aggression from the natives is rare. With such rich and vibrant history, gorgeous handicrafts and such variety of landscape, India is indeed an incredible destination. Yet there is simply no way one can prepare for all this difficulty. It demands a serene mind or else there will be threats of cardiac arrests. 5 weeks later and back in Singapore, I am knackered.

What a ride! This 33 1/2 hour (+2 hour delay) is what we called 'character building'. It started 2 nights ago with a fight with an old Indian man who didn't liked the idea that we wanted to put up our sleeping bunks first thing upon getting onto the train. There was a snoring symphony throughout the night from the various men around us. We spent the whole of yesterday burying our faces in books, then come evening time when we're both tired from reading, played the 'guess which famous person I am' game. In the afternoon, a bunch of ladies in the first cabin of sleeper 4 (we were in the 2nd cabin) were happily singing away, which brought a nice ring to the journey. However, when dusk befalls, their baby manifests himself into a screaming brat. This morning the ladies decided to have a shouting competition at 7 in the morning right after handing their brat a toy machine gun that he happily 'rat-tat-tated' away before day break.

I guess this is Indian rail for us.

The old man who had an arguement with us turned our to be a rather kind man. Perhaps he is merely grumpy and like many man his age likes things done his way. But I find him rather generous with other travel folks on the train, offering to buy them tea and stuff, and he forks out a ruppee here and there for crippled beggers and one or two kids who sweeps the cabins half-heartedly then demands to be paid. He even gave a banana to a 'peeking cow', or rather, a stray cow at one of the stations peeking into our cabin.

We are now in Delhi... a foggy day. I am knackered. Returning home in 3 days time, and I made the decision to give the Taj Mahal a miss.